Dear W,
You share with me the persistent feeling you experience of no longer belonging to a group of people, nor to a social milieu, nor even to a family with which you felt connected.
I am not surprised that you feel this way. This is a phenomenon we observe frequently, almost all the time. The awakening process creates a need and thirst for freedom. Our human environment appears as an obstacle before us. We have the impression that the people around us cannot understand what we are experiencing. They could understand the old version of ourselves, but not the one that is being born. They have been precious traveling companions on the path we have traveled so far, but they are unable to accompany us on the one we have begun. We feel like strangers in our traditional environment. We are no longer on the same wavelength. Others seem locked in their narrow world. We feel the need to find our soul family and we are no longer content to live in our biological family or in our past friendships.
This transformation process represents a new birth for us and we need someone who understands and supports our new evolution. We feel distant from our usual world. We are tired of playing roles and wearing masks. We feel the need to discover or rediscover our real identity. We feel alone and we need the company of people who are awakening like us, and especially someone who guides us on the path of awakening.
It has been said that members of the same family are rarely born under the same roof. Not never, but rarely. In other words, we are born into a family with which we have blood ties, but not necessarily soul ties. Later, life presents us with members of our soul family, or what we can call our tribe. The bonds of friendship that can unite us to these people can sometimes prove stronger than those that unite us to our blood brothers.
But the fact of seeking and finding ”our tribe” does not necessarily have to lead to a break with our original environment. And this, even if sometimes it is this very environment that refuses to accept what we are experiencing and to respect it. A Zen master described the awakening process in these terms: ”Before awakening, mountains are mountains and rivers are rivers; during the awakening process, mountains are no longer mountains and rivers are no longer rivers; after awakening, mountains are again mountains and rivers are again rivers“.
This saying means that what needs to change in our life is not so much the external circumstances, but the way we look at these circumstances. And once this perspective changes, the circumstances change in turn or appear to us in a new light.
Our personal world in which we live is formed by the perceptions we have of the circumstances of our life, in accordance with this Stoic saying that ”human beings are not affected by the events of their life, but by the opinion they form of them”. Therefore, our external world is a reflection of our internal world.
Dear W, the need for change that you feel could well occur from the outside, but it would only be real and lasting if it is preceded by an inner change. The life we dream of is a new state of consciousness in which we feel both connected to everything and free from everything. We feel at home wherever we go. Because whatever the geographical location and external situation where we find ourselves, our living environment is actually our state of mind that we carry with us wherever we go.
The new consciousness we need to acquire is born from an inner transformation comparable to the metamorphosis of the caterpillar into a butterfly. This transformation makes us move from an identification with the person to an identification with the impersonal Presence that is within us. The speed at which this process unfolds depends on the intensity of our thirst for freedom. The more we feel cramped in our narrow identity, the more quickly the bubble of personality will burst.
We cannot pretend to be thirsty to hasten the process. It is a matter of attraction. Rather than being focused on a distant goal, we must welcome what is here and now with gratitude. This is indeed the best way to arrive at what we aspire to.
The company of people who share the same aspiration as ours can be of great help. And if we have the grace to meet a person who particularly plays the role of mirror for us, it will be a great opportunity.
Because the object of our quest is within us, we need a good mirror to see it. The eye can see everything, but it cannot see itself. We need someone who, through their presence and accompaniment, awakens us from the sleep of the soul in which we are immersed. A candle potentially contains light, but if it does not come into contact with a living flame, the light it contains will never be actualized. Similarly, our soul is of divine essence, but it needs to come into contact with an awakened soul for it to be awakened in turn.
Have confidence that this is happening for you and be patient. No matter how much we water a tree, it will not bear fruit before the season. Once this transformation has taken place and inner freedom is acquired, what must continue to serve you will remain in your life, and what is no longer necessary for you will disappear from it.