Whatever our experience with our mother — past or present — we are never indifferent to the influence she has exerted in our lives. The feelings we retain range from gratitude for some to resentment for others, often mixed with intermediate emotions. Siblings within the same family can have very different relationships with their mother. This suggests that the quality of the mother-child relationship depends more on the degree of affinity between the two than solely on the mother’s character.
Some feel such attachment to their mother that her passing leaves an unbearable void. This was the case for Chateaubriand, who, after his mother’s death, regained his faith and wrote, ”I wept, and I believed”. Except in rare cases of severe childhood trauma, every mother harbors a heart full of tenderness and compassion for her children. However, humility compels us to acknowledge that the maternal instinct behind this is shared by all other mammals.
What sets the human mother apart, making her relationship with her children richer and more complex, is her psyche, which intertwines with instinct, and the extended time she spends with them. Among mammals, humans take the longest to become independent, and this prolonged cohabitation gives rise to strong emotional and affectionate bonds.
Maternal instinct is not exclusive to women who give birth. Strong bonds often form between adoptive mothers and their children. Moreover, some children find ”maternal” affection and care from an older sister when their mother cannot provide it due to physical or mental illness. Life circumstances sometimes even lead daughters to ”mother” their own parents.
The affection and care a little girl shows toward her doll reveal that the ”heart of a mother” exists independently of blood ties or lineage. Women seem to carry within them a potential for love and tenderness that manifests when the opportunity arises. Yet, this statement would be incomplete without acknowledging men as well.
Human beings, both men and women, carry within them the dual polarities of masculine and feminine. This duality is beautifully expressed in the Tao symbol, a perfect circle divided into two interlocking halves — one dark, Yin, and the other light, Yang. Inseparable and complementary, each contains a trace of the other, underscoring their interdependence.
The human soul resembles a ”sea” moving between two shores — the masculine and feminine — each existing in relation to the other. Masculinity typically represents initiative and action, while femininity embodies receptiveness and nurturing. Traditionally, these feminine values have been primarily embodied by women. Primarily, but not exclusively, as the reality is far more nuanced.
In some families, mothers may display intransigence while fathers show greater tolerance, providing children with more listening, understanding, or tenderness. Feminine values are not the sole domain of women. It is often said that men seek their mothers in their partners, and women their fathers. In truth, both hope to find in their partners the feminine values of attentiveness, listening, and understanding.
Modern life has, however, stifled these feminine values in many women, amplifying masculine traits instead. Many women delay or forego motherhood to prioritize careers, often at great personal cost. This inability to fully express their capacity for love is not their fault; rather, they are victims of societal pressures. The abundance of gifts showered on children today often stems from parents’ guilt over insufficient time spent with them.
In traditional Chinese medicine, illness arises from an imbalance between Yin and Yang, the feminine and masculine energies. This applies to both physical and mental health, as well as to individuals and societies. Humanity, as a living organism, is increasingly unwell due to a growing imbalance favoring masculine values. The relentless pursuit of power, wealth, and material success reflects this imbalance.
Even essential activities, like agriculture, are practiced in an overly masculine manner, ”extracting” from Mother Earth beyond her capacity to give, to the point of exhaustion. This approach does not eradicate poverty or hunger but instead increases waste, with one-third of global food production lost or discarded. No one person is to blame; humanity as a whole suffers from a disregard for feminine values.
It would be cruel for individuals — men or women — to wait for collective evolution before fully embracing their feminine dimension. The feminine is not limited to traits traditionally attributed to women; it is infinitely richer, symbolized in the Tao by Yin, the dark and profound.
Have you noticed that Yin is always mentioned before Yang? This is no accident. Light emerges from darkness, not the other way around. The Eternal Feminine is the matrix of all potentialities, the uncharted aspect of our being. Our lives will only be truly fulfilling when we habitually turn inward. The most brilliant diamonds are found in the darkest mines.
We have entered the 21st year of the 21st century, the century foreseen by visionary André Malraux:
The 21st century will be spiritual or it will not be.
— André Malraux
Not religious, but spiritual. It is time to rediscover the inner Divinity we have projected far from ourselves. Ignoring part of ourselves, as Carl Gustav Jung noted,
If you do not face your shadow, it will appear as your destiny.
— Carl Gustav Jung
Whatever its origin, COVID-19 inadvertently taught humanity to slow down and reconsider its priorities — a harsh but necessary invitation to return home. Not just to human-made homes but to the living temple built by God within each of us.
By God, I ascribe no face or affiliation — a constant Presence, a source of peace, love, and joy that I feel within myself and cannot doubt. Like the prodigal son, humanity has strayed far from its true home. In doing so, it has lost restfulness, and the call to return grows ever louder.
In developing science — admirable in itself — humanity has neglected consciousness, losing wisdom and true wealth in the process.
The sage discovers the world without stepping out of their door.
— Lao-Tzu
The path lies in the infinite feminine dimension within us all.
Louis Aragon once wrote, ”Woman is the future of man”. I would rephrase it as, ”The Feminine is the future of Humanity“.
Emphasizing that the feminine dimension is common to both sexes does not diminish the role of women or mothers. On the contrary, it highlights the invaluable privilege Life grants women — the ability, more readily than men, to embody feminine values like receptiveness, empathy, and compassion, which our world so desperately needs.
As Rumi wisely said, ”Yesterday, I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I want to change myself”. There is no resignation in this statement. Changing oneself changes the world, and there is no other way.
This is where the mother’s role becomes crucial. As the saying goes, ”The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”. The more a mother embraces her feminine dimension, the more she can awaken it in her children.
The invitation to write these reflections for Mother’s Day came with the quote by Grétry: ”God’s masterpiece is the heart of a mother”. To all I have written, I add this: like the tip of an iceberg, a mother’s heart is but the visible part of God’s infinite heart.
Despite its limitations, every form of motherhood remains ”meritorious” — an anagram that says it all.