Dear W.,
I always answer questions posed to me, though sometimes my answer is simply, ”I don’t know”. I don’t claim to have all the answers — nor do I wish to. Some answers must arise from within the person asking, for only then will they be truly satisfying.
In our modern world, we prioritize thinking over feeling. Yet thought remains external to us, unlike the sensations we experience within. You can listen for hours to descriptions of an exotic fruit’s taste, but until you’ve tasted it yourself, you’ll never truly know its flavor. The same holds for love.
Y. mentioned that during a recent conversation about love, you wanted to include me by phone, but I was unavailable. I asked Y. to share the moment this idea arose, so I might better guide my words.
I won’t presume to define love for you — I’m certain you’ve already felt it. Perhaps you long for a form of love you’ve yet to experience, and that’s perfectly valid. But consider this: often, it’s our ideas about love that block us from encountering it.
First, remember: love is not a relationship. Love is a state of being — your very essence. It isn’t something to create, but to uncover and let flow. Don’t wait to meet someone ”on your wavelength” to share it. Begin by feeling it for the smallest, most ordinary things.
Where attention goes, energy flows. The more you let love radiate toward everything around you, the more love you’ll attract into your life. Sooner or later, someone harmonized with your energy will appear — a companion for the love already flowing within you both.
Unconsciously, we build barriers against love. Rumi said: ”Your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself you’ve built against it”. These barriers are the conditions we impose, insisting love arrive in a specific package. We try to steer it rather than letting it steer us.
Some who fail to find love externally turn inward, renouncing relationships altogether. Yet neither path excludes the other. Love is within us — but if we take individual form in a world of multiplicity, it’s to exchange love, not hoard it. Love’s flavor deepens in sharing.
Two voids meeting cannot create wholeness. Don’t wait for someone to ”bring” you love; let it spring from you first. Sadly, many fixate on what they’ll receive from another, not what they’ll give.
We need to love more than to be loved. If someone who is indifferent to us loves us, their love leaves us cold. It’s the love we emit that moves us — not what comes from outside.
Finally, Eros is a capricious god. If love depends on external conditions, it fades when they change. Root it instead in soul-deep affinity. Physical and intellectual attraction matter, yes — but the more aligned you are with love’s source within, the likelier you’ll attract a true match.
Until that meeting, tune yourself to love’s frequency. It’s already there.
My aim, dear W., wasn’t to explain, but to stir that resonance in you. I hope I’ve touched it, even slightly…